So Much To Say...

So little time. I really should be working, but there are so many things going on. Can you (if there are any yous) live without links? Good!

Senate Panel Proves No Connection Between Saddam and Al Qaeda
HA! Bush's war is bogus, as we thinking people knew already. Can we impeach him yet?

Blair to Resign Within a Year
Seems his countrymen are angry with him for deceiving them into a war with Iraq. Members of his own party have called for his resignation (some going so far as to step down themselves). And Blair himself said he would resign if he became a liability to his party.

Why can't our Congress have those kind of balls? Why can't our President have that kind of dignity? Sigh.

John Mayer Breaks off Relationship with Jessica Simpson
According to a Simpsonite, he couldn't handle "all the publicity." I think it's more that he couldn't handle being around Jessica. Sure, she's pretty, and probably entertaining for a while, in a puppy-chasing-its-tail kind of way. But a relationship? I have to say I lost some respect for John for even going there.

Oops, She Did It Again!

(How many other bloggers are going to use that headline?) Yes, Britney Spears has announced that Baby #2 wasn't planned. "It just kind of happened!" said Spears. Ah, Britney. Ever the role model. I know you were a highly publicized virgin for years before Mr. Timberlake finally blazed your Appalachian trail, but didn't you learn anything from Baby #1?

On that note -- I, like everyone else, get grossed out seeing used condoms on the sidewalk. But today I saw one and thought, well at least someone's having safe sex.

She's BA-A-ACK!!

For a while anyway. I've had this potent urge to blog lately, but it's been so long I wasn't sure I'd remember how to log on. And if I get busy (which would be good because it means I'm making some money finally) I may go back to neglecting poor Pell-Mell. But for the moment, anyhow, I have returned.

Hurry up and wait

Well, the bidding war for my script is off to a very slow start. You might even call it a non-start. I’ve sent out a few letters to prospective agents but so far no response. It’s probably too early for that to mean anything one way or the other. Still, the waiting is killing me, and I’m sure it will only get worse.

I was told by people at the festival, “Call Disney!” “Call Pixar!!” Yes, they are dying to hear from me – um, not. I actually called Disney today and they sent me directly to the legal department, who told me to get an agent. Oh well. I am proud of myself nonetheless, for making the call. I hate cold-calling. I don’t even like calling my senator.

Guess I won’t be quitting my day job just yet.

Civil War

noun
: a war between opposing groups of citizens of the same country

So please explain to me how the conflict in Iraq is not a civil war?

It’s been three years since the invasion. Three costly, bloody, futile years. I’d go on, but Catherine at Poverty Barn has pretty much said it all.

Fun with Muni

What’s not to love about our filthy, erratic and increasingly expensive public transportation system? The other day I saw someone thrown bodily off the bus. He had snuck on through the back door, and was screaming abuse at the driver (at least I think it was abuse; it was gibberish so I couldn’t exactly tell.)

Then this morning, I was thrown bodily myself. The driver slammed on his brakes so hard to avoid hitting the bus in front of him that I actually flew out of my seat and landed on the floor. (Most gracefully I might add. Legs in the air, the whole bit.) The driver reacted with annoyance to my surprised outburst. “Sorry,” he said defensively. Then, grudgingly, “You OK?” I was, but I decided not to ride with him anymore. I got off and walked.

Oh well. At least there wasn’t a fire.

Hi-ho Silver

So I ended up with second place in the Cinequest screenwriting competition. Pretty exciting! I honestly didn’t think I’d make the top three. They announced it all Miss-America style, with the finalists all up on stage, and the MC opening envelopes to read out the winners. They threw a little party for us after and I got to meet some of the jurors who read my script. They were quite encouraging. I keep being told it’s “very commercial” which is cool but also disconcerting. Hey, people, I’m an artist! But, I’d rather not be a starving artist, and to be honest, I’d really like to sell my screenplay. I’m not that interested in producing it myself.

Anyway, the situation looks pretty promising – as long as I can get someone at a studio to read it. I’m not particularly connected, and getting an agent is no easy task. The idea of having an agent sounds ludicrous anyway, like having a bodyguard or something. But I already have a publicist (my good friend CB) and I guess that’s how things are done.

I’ll keep you all posted.

Cheney: Armed and Dangerous

“Face time” with Vice President Cheney just got a whole new meaning. Last weekend, Cheney shot one of his hunting companions with birdshot in the face, neck and chest. A 78-year-old, no less. Fortunately, the victim is not seriously hurt. But as an “experienced hunter,” (meaning he’s had large quantities of semi-tame animals ushered in front of his rifle barrel) Cheney should know to look around before pulling the trigger. I fear this will prevent Justice Scalia from attending any more hunting parties.

I will say this for our VP – he isn’t boring. Whether he’s promoting torture, telling a congressmen to “f*ck himself” on the Senate floor, being told to f*ck himself on live television, or authorizing the outing of a CIA operative, he always keeps it fresh.

Oh, and the guy he shot is a lawyer. Good thing the Bush Administration has done away with frivolous lawsuits. And laws.

"Ice Man" was “Total Loser”

Another big reason not to get murdered and fall into an icy crevasse that will preserve your body for 5,300 years: the possibility that the guys who examine you will call you a dweeb in front of the whole scientific community.

Anthropologists have determined that Oetzi, a man found mummified in the Alps, was a “social outcast” with “low sperm mobility.” Harsh!! They also determined that his bearskin tunic was, like, “so 5400 BC,” he snorted when he laughed, and had to take his own sister to the prom.

Scientists beware: there is a curse associated with Oetzi. 7 people related to the mummy’s discovery and research have died suddenly. I can see the movie poster now: “Revenge of the Nerds V: Nerds In Ice.” What’s Anthony Edwards up to these days?

Also at Daily Pepper.

The Survey Says...

Yet more fascinating details that you always wanted to know about me:

What time did you get up this morning? 7:45 am
Diamonds or pearls? Pearls are my birthstone. But I prefer diamonds.
What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Just got back from Sundance--last movie I saw there was "Quincenera" which was excellent and won lots of prizes.
What is your favorite TV show? The Daily Show, Lost, Jeopardy (yes, I’m a geek)
What did you have for breakfast? A blackberry scone.
What is your middle name? Winifred. (lay off—she was my grandmother)
What is your favorite cuisine? “Cuisine”—that’s fancy. I guess all types but esp. Italian and French. And sushi…is that cuisine?
What foods do you dislike? Walnuts, shitakii mushrooms, pickles, anything liver-based
Your favorite chip? Kettle Chips. Original Fritos.
What is your favorite CD at the moment? White Stripes – Get Behind Me, Satan
What kind of car do you drive? Subaru Forester
Favorite sandwich? Roast Turkey on whole wheat
What characteristics do you despise? Willful ignorance, cruelty, deception
Favorite item of clothing? My pale-green hoodie
If you could go anywhere where in the world on vacation? New Zealand, or an African safari
What color is your bathroom? Seafoam green jazzed up with the occasional black tile with obscure Chinese symbols painted in gold
Favorite brand of clothing? I seem to wear a lot of Anthropologie
Where would you want to retire? Somewhere warm
Favorite time of day? Early evening
Favorite sport to watch? Football on TV, Baseball live.
Where were you born? Reno, NV
What laundry detergent do you use? Planet
Coke or Pepsi? Coke, on a hot day, in the old-school bottle
Are you a morning person or night owl? Night Owl
What size shoe do you wear? 6.5
Do you have pets? Two semi-homicidal cats
Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? My screenplay is a finalist in a scriptwriting competition! (See posting below)
Favorite candy bar? Toblerone
What is your best childhood memory? The great stories Dad used to make up by the campfire at our cabin.
What are the different jobs you had in your life? Pizza maker. Hotel maid. Assistant at a veterinary clinic. Day-care teacher. Advertising art director. Advertising copywriter.
What color underwear are you wearing? Fancy striped ones I got in Paris. Not that it’s any of your business.
Piercings? One in each ear.
Ever been to Africa? Not yet.
Ever been toilet papering? Sure. What else do you do at a slumber party?
Love someone so much it made you cry? Yes
Been in a car accident? Yes, a few.
Croutons or bacon bits? Mmmm, bacon
Favorite day of the week? Saturday
Favorite Restaurant? Hyde Street Bistro, maybe
Favorite Flower? Freesias. Tulips. Paperwhites.
Favorite Ice cream? Swiss Orange Chip
Disney or Warner brothers? Pixar! (Now owned by Disney…yikes)
Favorite fast food restaurant? In-N-Out
What color is your bedroom carpet? Ivory, with ugly dark stains from the shoes of our clueless maintenance man
How many times did you fail your driver's test? 0!
Where would you choose to max out your credit card? One of them fancy Hayes Valley boutiques
What do you do most often when you are bored? Find something to read
Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? Everybody
Last person you went to dinner with? My sister
Ford or Chevy? Never, ever again
What are you listening to right now? Office “ambiance”
What is your favorite color? Green
Lake, Ocean or River? Ocean
How many tattoos do you have? One tiny sorority tat on my ankle. (I thought it was funny at the time. No, I wasn’t drunk.)
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken omelet.
Who do you tag? Poverty Barn, Unknowledgeable Hack